A lovely person recently wrote the following in a FetLife post and it really resonated with me.
People come and go in life. Some stay for a time, be it short, to teach, to learn or to grow. Some step in and back out because of their inability to accept, give, or receive what is needed or offered. Some are easy to let go of in life, and other are much more difficult.
I’m one of those people who often ‘go’. I’m not easy to be friends with because I’d rather stay home with my animals than go see the people I love. I can’t tell you how many times I hear “Wow, I haven’t seen you in ages!” And they are right.
It’s not that I don’t love my friends, it just that I am a bit of a socially akward person (believe it or not) who is much more comfortable in front of her computer than hanging out in person.
Really, it’s not you – it’s me and I’m working on it.
Has it really been 4 months since my last update? Sheesh! All I can say in my defense is that I’ve been super chatty on twitter. You can follow me @tatsumi.
So, to wrap up the last 4 months…
- I stopped doing Freelance Graphic Design and started my own company with my girlfriend. Soulhuntre and Kimi are both super supportive - Yay poly!
- My very good friend and leather-uncle passed away. I miss him lots.
- My mom and I went to Disney World in November for a few days and I actually had a pretty good time at the park and with my family.
- I had a nice 35th birthday last month and good holidays considering all the stress that comes with them.
- I just got back from a short vacation in Arizona where I visited my grandparents and loved the warm weather.
- Shortly, girlfriend and I will head to Texas for the National Task Force’s Creating Change conference in Dallas.
- And I’m working my guts out trying to get this company off the ground. Given the current economic situation, we’re doing okay but not as well as we could/should be.
That’s about it! Look for another update in the summer. LOL!
I had big plans for today (there are 3 town street fairs within 20 miles of my house and 1 is a gay pride celebration) but it’s gloomy, rainy, damp, humid and kinda yuck outside. Soulhuntre, Kimiko and Seraphin are coming over anyway (because they’re great family and I’d kill them if they bailed) but now I’m not sure what to do with them when they get here. Meh. I should probably just put on an extra layer and drag everyone out as planned. I’m probably just being sullen and moody for no good reason. <shrugs> I’m like that sometimes.
I miss seeing my non-leather-family. I’d like to schedule some catch up time with those of you I dont’ see often. Please email me and let me know if you want to get together (for coffee, dinner or a date night) and when you’re free.
Ed. Note: We DID go out as planned, the weather was gorgeous and we had a great time. I was just being a ninny and that cleared up after about 30 minutes of outdoors and sunshine.
Speaking of getting out more often, I’m actually going out tonight to a friend’s birthday party in the city. I’ll be back home tomorrow evening or Thursday morning. Gotta love that warm weather 
Last month I finally bit the bullet and quit my day job. They had been making my life hell for over 20 months and at the prompting for my friends and family, I finally told them where they could shove it – in a very professional way, of course. Even still, it felt pretty good to be rid of them.
Now, I’m doing some freelancing, working on my physical self (diet & exercise) and enjoying being home with my zoo.
Today I’m heading to NYC for a quick meeting and then to a ‘pick-up-for-women’ seminar being hosted by a scene friend.
I’m hoping to get out more now that my work situation isn’t draining all of my energy. We’ll see! Anyone doing any fun scene stuff in the next few weeks?
Spent most of this weekend sleeping. Think I’m fighting off a cold. I should be prepping for the New Years Eve party I’m hosting on Wed. night, but I’m just so tired.
Had a nice xmas and a good b-day too.
Still hate my job. Still unmotivated to do much about it aside from gripe.
Going back to sleep now.
As always, there’s not enough time to catch you up on what I’ve been up to. Suffice to say, nothing too exciting aside from a trip to the Aquarium last weekend with some great people.
So much to do this weekend – I need to find a new job (which involves updating my resume, professional website, printed sample book and various job boards), do my weekend errands (cat litter, laundry, pick up prescriptions, etc.), put together a hand out on first aid for burns, catch up on my emails and balance my checkbook.
Can I take a nap yet!?
So much for the fuck-fest I was thinking of for DOSC’08. Recent events have left me more STD-paranoid than ever which makes me totally uninterested in sex. I’m trying not to be really annoyed about it. I’m trying to focus on the positive. I’m trying not to think about it as a wasted $600+ on a sex weekend without the sex. Add to all that my new shrink wants to start weaning me off one of my anxiety meds. Argh, meh and grrr don’t even begin to cover how I’m feeling right now.
This past Saturday, Seraphin and I went to the Eighth Annual Butterfly Festival from 12 to 4pm at the Watershed Reserve in NJ.
This year there weren’t many types of butterflies but I still took a lot of pictures and had a great time at the visitor center and the various ‘green’ booths.
It always strikes me as weird that Lady Bugs, Butterflies and Fireflies don’t gross me out but every other type of bug makes me squeal. For instance, at the Festival, there was an Insect Zoo and one of the attractions was Madagasgar Hissing Cockroaches. Eeeewwwwww! Those suckers are huge and they scurry/scuttle just the way the german ones do but they are huge!!! (shudder)
It seems that I am taking on too much (again) and the pressure is so much that I’m letting things slip. I lost my glasses, forgot my keys, left my phone charger behind, and the list goes on.
I talked to a few people about it and it looks like I need to cut back in order to regain some balance. That means I’m going to be saying No a lot more often. Not to you, my fans and online friends – I have already cut back here so much that any more would be like walking away and I’m just not going to do that. So who will bear the brunt of my new limits? Good question. I’m still mulling that one over.
Oh, and last weekend I was in Arizona visiting my grandparents. It was really nice but not quite long enough.
Nothing else for now – Need to get to bed so I can wake for work in the morning. <hugs>